Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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