Duck Duck Cougar?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
