Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
