Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
