Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
