she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
