i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
