I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
