Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
