yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
