I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
