you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
