I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize