You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
