Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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