I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize