Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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