yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
