Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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