Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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