So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
