Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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