when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This baby is an asshole
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
