i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
