I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
