I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
