if i can run in heels then i can drive
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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