it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
