I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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