are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Michael Bay diarrhea
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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