i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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