Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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