she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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