she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
NoShamevember. You game?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
