I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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