It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize