Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think people are normalizing furries
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
