..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
