She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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