Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize