Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I forget how to act sober
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
