I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
