So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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