Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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