I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What a dumb baby whore.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
