Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
