arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
