I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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