Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
