her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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