found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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