She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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