no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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