So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
