No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
