Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
