Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
