...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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