careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
