I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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