Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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