You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
