We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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