he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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